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lyrics

I was riding my tandem with style and grace
When I spotted a crab with no carapace
It thumbed a lift and hopped on the back
And we harmonised a song by Roberta Flack.

It said “I’m called Fred and I like to scratch
Especially when visiting a football match
I’ve a friend called Jane, she’s a real cool slug
And we like to hang out on a Persian rug”.

I asked him if he missed his shell
And Fred just shrugged, but I could tell
That he wasn’t happy with his naturist look
So I made up my mind to read a book

To find out how we could solve his case
And cover up his modesty and save him face
But he suddenly seemed to change his mind
And he said “Heck, I look like a slug from behind

So now I’ve decided that a slug’s what I’ll be
And I’m going to ask Jane if she’ll marry me
And we’ll raise a great big slug family
On the Persian rug, in matrimony”.

Some years later I met him again
And a happier slug(-crab) I’ve never seen
Fred and Jane were dancing with glee
And their song is still sung in the land of the free.

credits

from A Bad Reputation is a Good Place to Start, released January 12, 2020
lyrics by Phones Sportsman

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The NoMen Kilmarnock, Virginia

Knock 'em out fast... they're not meant to last! The NoMen have been around since 2003 creating original music from the ingredients of others!

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